I took in a game at Camden Yards to see the Orioles play the Tigers Friday night. The good thing about the current state of the Orioles is that you can walk up half an hour before game time and get great seats with no stupid Ticketmaster fees. In this case, I tried to get seats in section 272, which is in the LF club box seats. That is, club level luxury without the club level price (or the club level in-seat food service, but that’s neither here nor there).

However, they’ve changed things from section 272 over and made that whole seating level an All You Can Eat area for an extra $15 per ticket. And the guy at the window said there was nothing available in 272 anyway.

I contemplated it for a minute and asked my kid how hungry he was. He said he was pretty hungry, so I said screw it and bought two seats in section 278. We got up there, got our hand stamped for the All You Can Eat deal and proceeded to get our grub on.

First, let me say that when the game started and we were in our seats, sections 272, 274 and 276 were virtually empty. In those three sections there were only about 10 people sitting in them. Yet I was told there was nothing available. WTF. Could they all be season tickets not being used? Doubtful.

Anyway, when you go to the AYCE porch or balcony or whatever they call it you get all the hot dogs, nachos, peanuts, popcorn, ice cream sandwiches and soda you can eat or drink. They have alcohol stands set up right next to the AYCE area to buy your beers and such, but if you want pizza or pretzels or cotton candy or anything you need to go for a walk to find it.

I figured that everything would be puny and toddler sized, but I have to hand it to the Orioles. Everything they give you is full sized. The hot dogs are the quarter pound size even. The sodas are the ones you pay $4 for. So if you get a dog and a couple drinks you’ve pretty much gotten your money’s worth out of the extra cost of the ticket.

Of course, the object is not to just get your money’s worth, but to get sick. I swear I never thought I could eat so much, but value is a good motivator. Here’s my approximate tally:

3 hot dogs
5 diet cokes
2 nachos
2 bags of peanuts
1 box of popcorn

And my kid’s:

1 hot dog
4 sprites
4 nachos
1 bag of peanuts
1/2 box of popcorn
1 ice cream sandwich

Maybe it was more because it felt like we were eating and drinking a lot more than the tally indicates. Every half inning one of us was going up to reload on something.

By the time the AYCE benefit ended after the 7th inning I was so ready to stop eating it wasn’t even funny. And the next morning my stomach was singing all kinds of gurgly songs. But it was a lot of fun to partake of it all, and the O’s do a nice job of keeping everything well stocked to the very end (I can’t imagine how many bags of cheese they went through for the nachos because every time I went to get some one of the machines was about out but would be refilled right away). Also, while sections 272, 274 and 276 were empty and my section was only maybe half full, sections 280-288 were packed. People take advantage of the AYCE business. It’s a good scam for the team.

The LF club AYCE ticket is not something I can do more than once a year or so, if that, for obvious reasons (I’m still waiting for my cholesterol to even out after those dogs and nacho cheese and my blood pressure to drop from all the salt), but it’s a pretty good idea, a pretty good value (all things considered); I didn’t pay a dime for anything at the stadium beyond the ticket price, and allows for a pretty good time.

Heck, I think the Orioles even won the game. And we got to see fireworks after the game ended. It was a win/win/win night all around.