Over the past year and a half I’ve been living a pretty healthy lifestyle. I mostly eat right, exercise, all that mess. I want to be hot for the chicks when the wife finally decides to leave me.

And because of my healthier lifestyle I’ve not eaten a lot of my favorite junk foods of my youth. Since it’s summer, and since I’m running about 25 miles a week (and rising - ugh), I’ve decided to give my old favorites another try while I’m lounging poolside. It won’t kill me. Unfortunately, I’ve discovered that I just cannot eat the things I used to. Where they used to tickle my tastebuds now they just make me feel queasy and sick to my stomach.

Examples include Frito’s and Slim Jims. Used to love them both, now I can’t eat either without my stomach doing some funny percolating. Also, I can’t eat anything that’s candy with “sour” being one of its features. Sour candy doesn’t make me sick but it doesn’t taste good. That’s probably just my old ass tastebuds though.

I’m not sure what else I can no longer eat, but I’m going to keep tabs.

And if it comes down to where I can’t handle Oreos or Chips Ahoy I’m just going to kill myself right then and there.