Last night I was at the dentist’s office getting my teeth cleaned. They offer a TV to watch while the hygienist scrapes you and the one I was watching was tuned to some celebrity show. Access Hollywood or something.
I don’t watch those shows because I don’t get the entire celebrity worship thing. I don’t care who’s fucking, who’s fighting, who’s falling, who’s failing, or who’s fabulous. Celebrities mean about as much to me as I do to them.
But something on there did really piss me off. There was a thing on there about how there’s a $150K bounty for a picture of Miley Ray Cyrus’s first real public boyfriend/girlfriend kiss. It’s insane to stalk a 15 year-old like that, especially one as uncute, unacting, unsinging and 40 year smoker voiced as Miley Cyrus, but what set me off was her dickbag of a father, Billy Ray Cyrus.
He was on there saying that he didn’t like people stalking his “little girl” and that he wanted to know who was looking to get pictures of her and how tough it is to go out for ice cream and shit like normal people because a million people always surround them.
All I could think was boo-fucking-hoo. This is the asshole who was living off one song from almost 20 years ago in pretty nice anonymity until he started to pimp his daughter out for the almighty dollar. Not only did he allow her to star in a TV show, but he allows Disney to promote the shit out of her to squeeze every penny they can out of the popularity they created for her. There isn’t a product you can buy out on the market today that doesn’t have Miley’s Hannah Montana visage plastered all over it. I’m pretty sure they even have Hannah Montana training bras and starter tampons. I don’t see Billy Ray complaining about all the bank they’re raking in thanks to all the merchandise and TV and movies and videos, etc. that has his slut for a buck’s face on.
When celebrities want to be low-key they can be low-key. Christina Aguilera comes to mind. But to allow your teenage daughter to be a little whore for a dollar while you stand behind her with your pimp hat on and look on approvingly like Billy Ray Cyrus does means he should stop whining about the havoc he’s reaped because he’s getting everything he’s sown. Fuckwad.