Yesterday evening my kid was outside watering a patch of dirt I’m trying to grow grass on. I was watching him through the kitchen window when two neighborhood kids came up to him. They talked for a second and one of the kids came up to the door to the house and opened it. Then he lost his nerve and closed it. I still walked over to the door to see what was up. When I got there, my kid informed me that Dipshit1 and Dipshit2 wanted popsicles. WTF. These kids didn’t want to hang out with my kid or play with him or anything, but one time a while back the wife gave Disphit1 an ice cream sandwich when he was playing with my kid so now he thinks he and his friends are entitled whenever he wants something from my house.

I told the dipshits that my house isn’t the popsicle stand and told them to get lost. They looked at me like I was nuts and pretended to hang out with my kid until I went back inside. They left within a second of my being out of their sight.

This isn’t the first time that some dipshit kid came over and thought my house is a free grocery store. One of the my kid’s little buddies came over one time and just helped himself to my fridge and pantry and stuff. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was looking for a snack. Again, WTF.

This is a rhetorical question (answer: dipshit parents produce dipshit kids), but when did kids decide it was ok to not have any respect for other peoples’ property? When I was a kid a buddy’s parents would lay me out for going through their stuff. If you wanted a glass of water you asked for it. Nicely. These days, kids treat you like you’re there to serve them.

And the parents. Good Lord. When I told a parent her kid stole my a couple of my kid’s more valuable Yu-Gi-Oh cards a couple years ago she thought it was funny and acted like it was no big deal. Then she got mad at me for banning the thieving little bastard from my house.

Sometimes I feel like I shortchange my kids because I don’t put any effort into making sure they’re making friends or hanging out with other kids or anything. I leave it up their mother because she’s much better socially than I am. But the more I think about it the more I’m coming to believe that I’ve inadvertantly done the right thing by not gritting my teeth and putting up with assholes and their asshole children just so mine could learn the shallow, disgusting, disrespectful ways of their peers. My kids might never be prom king or queen and may never win any popularity contests, but they’ll not have other parents wonder what kind of fucksicle raised them either.