A hearty FUCK YOU…

…to Washington D.C., for sending me a $100 speeding ticket in the mail for going a little too fast while driving on a deserted road near RFK Stadium in the middle of the day a few weeks ago. It’s so nice to see the center of democracy in the world is kept in check using such fascistic means as speed cameras. Assholes. Way to make sure I stay out of your shitty city.

…to Maryland Governor Martin O’Malley. This asshole held a special session of the general assembly to raise taxes by $1.5 billion to erase a “structural deficit” that was never proven to exist, then he increased spending by an amount equal to the tax increase — and even gave money for a group that openly and brazenly assists illegal immigrants in getting drivers licenses and state assistance on the taxpayer’s dime to build a “cultural center,” then he saw to it that our power bills will go up even more than the 70% they just went up (which he suh-wore during his campaign for the job he would stop from happening, then said “nothing I can do about it… sorry”), and then the “environmental” governor came out against building wind turbines in parts of state parks that no one will ever see to ensure that not only will our power bills stay high and go higher, but that the state does nothing to find and use renewable energy resources that he claims to be so vital.

…to female voters in this god-forsaked state for watching the governor flex his muscles, listening to his bullshit sweet talk, voting for him because he makes their panties wet, and then bitching about him when he betrays them and fucks their worlds up with his bullshittery.

…to former governor Bob Ehrlich haters, who blame him for everything wrong this state. We’ve had democrats run this place for 40 years and the only change was a republican governor for 4 years who couldn’t get anything done because of stonewalling from democrats. Oh, wait. He did raise a bunch of fees for things like vehicle registration and sewers and stuff like that that people bitched and moaned about. But the current governor has done nothing to repeal any of the fees his predecessor put in place, so they must not have been a horrible idea. And, oddly, no one has even brought up the idea of repealing any of the fees Ehrlich put in place.

…to little league baseball moms, who act like it’s such a chore to sit on a chair in the shade for an hour and talk about how great their lives are while their kids practice. If it’s that terrible, stop your gossiping and grab a glove to back up your kid when he’s covering first base, because the little bastard can’t catch worth a fuck so everything goes past him and I’m tired of chasing down the ball.