Why can I not find a fucking bag of taco flavored Doritos anymore? The closest I can get is that mixed flavor abomination of taco and chipotle ranch. Fuck a chipotle ranch Dorito! And why does the Doritos website have to be such a visual abortion? It’s horrible.

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There is a group of middle-aged men who run the mean streets of my area pretty much every morning. They run 3-4 wide, take up an entire lane in the road and essentially dare cars to hit them. To me, that’s a dick move. You might be entitled to more of a share of the road when running than cars want to acknowledge, but you’re not entitled to an entire lane and/or to slow down traffic.

Yesterday I was about 7 miles into a 9-miler when I saw the road hogs about a quarter mile ahead of me. As I came up behind them and they heard my footsteps, they stopped talking and looked over to see me pass them. When I pulled up even with them I wished them a “mornin’ fellas” and got silence and two sneers back. WTF. Then I left them in my dust. Assholes.

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During my 9 mile road tour I noticed there is an impressive number of hypodermic needles in the gutters of my “safe” and bucolic suburb. Who knew there were so many reasonably affluent junkies. Or junkie children of the reasonably affluent.

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I am eschewing contact lenses for good old-fashioned glasses. Fuck a LASIK too.