Today was the day that dads get to go to school with their kids to eat donuts with them before class. It’s not a bad thing, and I think donuts kick the shit out of the muffins moms get to eat in the fall.

Last year what pissed me off about dads donuts day was how the school and PTA did its best to de-emphasize the “dads” part and acted like any ol’ fella with a schlong will do for a kid (or no schlong for Heather and her two mommies). This year they did a pretty good job keeping the dads in dads donuts day, but that doesn’t mean there’s nothing for me to bitch about.

This year it is the book fair. These PTA people got the kids so fuckin brainwashed to get the dads to buy shit it was ridiculous. There were no fewer than FIVE notices and THREE wish lists sent home with the kids over the last two weeks. In only one of them — the last one — did the PTA bother to put in the disclaimer that there was no obligation to purchase books from the book fair. Of course, that’s bullshit because they made the kids so goddamn rabid to sell their parents on books they can get cheaper anywhere else it was insane.

Case in point: my kid loved a book called Diary of a Wimpy Kid. Its sequel was just published. It was available at the book fair for full retail price of $12.95. It’s on Amazon.com for $7.77. I purchased it for him at Wal-Mart the other day for about $7.00.

I get that the PTA needs money to pay for these donut and muffin days and what not, and I get that participation is severely lacking in my kid’s school, but to be honest I’d be a lot happier to not have a donut day than I was to be made to feel like a jackass for not paying almost double the price for books than I needed to and I’d really be happier if they didn’t brainwash my kid so much to buy an assload of books when he was really only interested in one.

To make matters worse, they set the book fair up so that you had to walk through it to get to the donuts and to leave. WTF. I’m not going to join the PTA now just out of spite for that hateful shit.