More and more I see people congratulating themselves for getting out and moving. Mostly this takes the form of them walking or running in the name of whatever cause is near and dear. I think this is stupid as hell. If you support a cause, support it, but don’t act like you’re super righteous because you care about something enough to walk a mile in its name.
I think of this because I’ve run a lot of weekend 5K races this year, most of which are held for the benefit of some cause or another. For the second time in as many races this weekend I had to explain to someone that while I was happy to support the cause for the race (in this instance it was brain injuries), my main motivation for running — since it’s not like I’m a threat to win — is to get the t-shirt that comes with registration. Usually I get a blank stare when I admit that I run just to run and don’t need a cause to make myself move. People are retarded.
Here is a word of advice from your dear old Uncle Cheese: Support groups that support research/activities/causes you believe in, but keep your motivations and back-patting to yourself. Actions speak much louder than words and no one is as great as he or she tries to imply by bragging on the charity he or she gives. Case in point: many people think you dear old Uncle Cheese is an asshole because of what he says, but a small minority see through the assholishness based upon his actions. In other words, your dear old Uncle Cheese’s words portray him in a way that are generally contradicted by his actions. Who’s opinion of him means more to him, those who only have his words to go by or those who have his actions?
The words/actions dichotomy is also why this weekend your dear old Uncle Cheese is going to leave his first blogger dork public appearance in almost two years with either a black eye or a room full of new friends. It should be fun.
I have to revise my early season critique of the second season of The Boondocks. This week’s episode, dealing with the culture of black people not snitching, was terrific. Truly. If they can keep it up I’ll give the show a pass on the first two episodes.
Last year, or whenever it was, I went into viewing The Boondocks on [adult swim] with the preconceived notion that it was going to be a platform for Aaron McGruder to spout off about whitey and such on TV the way he does in the “funny” pages. Turns out the first season of the cartoon version of the comic strip was brilliant.
Sadly, after a long delay, the second season is shaping up to be nowhere nearly as good as the first. Granted, I’ve only seen the first two episodes (with one waiting in the queue on my shitty DirecTV DVR), but nothing in the first two half hours have generated anything nearly as thought-provoking as the first five minutes of the first episode of the first season. Although I do like the return of A Pimped Named Slickback.
On the other hand, Curb Your Enthusiasm for me is the old stalwart that I keep watching out of habit more than anything else. It’s in its 40th or 45th season or something and I get it now like I did 20 or 30 years ago: Larry David as a character (at least) is the King of All Assholes.
While that show has had giggles throughout this season, nothing has really struck me the way the first couple seasons did. Until last night, which is when I caught up with the latest episode on my shitty DirecTV DVR. The whole thing about his wife leaving him for being more concerned with the TiVO repairman than her fearful mid-flight phone call and having all their friends choose to remain friends with her after the split was fucking uproarious and gave the whole show a new angle and new life.
But maybe that’s just because I see a little bit of myself in the episode’s parting shot of Larry missing out on the last seconds of a recorded show because of a TiVO glitch with ice on his balls and his world crumbling around him.
I think I’ve become insane due to addiction.
I spend my evenings scouring active.com looking for running events to participate in, always hoping for a cool t-shirt premium. I am scheduled for 5K races virtually every weekend and a 5 mile race in November. I have created my own gym training program to work on speed and endurance, which I partially credit for knocking over three minutes off my 5K run time between July and now. I felt like a douche for not participating in any aspect of the Baltimore Running Festival last weekend and have vowed to run the Frederick half marathon in May, a distance I’m pretty much already trained up to run and complete.
If I’m not racing on a weekend I’m running 8-10 miles around town, even though I wonder what the fuck did I just do that for as soon as I finish and feel shamed the way a 13 year-old feels right after rubbing one out (ok, maybe that was just me). I bought a fucking fuel belt, for crissake. And tights (!) for cold weather running (if it actually decides to get cold around here this year). I track how many miles (169.84 and 162.15) I have on my TWO pairs of premium running shoes, which I will only wear while running on the road/treadmill or walking from the locker room to the treadmill at my gym. I have a Road ID bracelet and really want a Forerunner 305 (thankfully, the jew in me won’t allow me to buy one).
Running is kind of like a crack addiction, and it’s becoming almost as expensive as one for me. Whoever said all you need to run is a pair of shoes and desire is a moron. It’s not that simple. My increasingly vast collection of compression shorts and non-cotton hi-performance running socks alone can attest to that.
It’s all better than sitting on the couch eating Doritos, I guess. Although Doritos are mighty tasty.
I bought Half-Life 2: Episode Two this week. In keeping with Half-Life, Half-Life 2 and Half-Life 2: Episode One it kicks mondo ass.
Included in the The Orange Box With HL2: Episode Two were several other games, including Half-Life 2 and HL2: Episode One.
Because I already own them, I am able to give these two insanely spectacular games to people who don’t through the magic of the internet. It’s full version, uncrippled software free and clear from any necessary current or future remuneration to anybody in perpetuity.
If you’ve been living under a rock for the last few years and don’t know what the hell Half-Life 2 is, let alone HL 2: Episode One, e-mail a brother at standingcheese(at)gmail.com and if I like you enough I’ll hook you up.